Transfatsos
We had some fatso houseguests for Rosh Hashanah (this is in addition to the one to whom I have been married for 20+ years). The couple (hereinafter referred to as "He" and "She") are long time friends of ours whose own house is currently undergoing reconstruction, so He and She stayed with us for the holiday. And they really are fine and wonderful people.
He was an athlete in his youth, and is still in reasonably good physical condition. She, on the other hand, makes my wife seem anorectic by comparison.
The sad truth is that She is too fat to walk more than about 25 feet without having to take a break. She is too fat to get up to light the candles for Rosh Hashanah or Shabbat. She is too fat to even get up to extend her reach a few inches so she can get the newspaper at the other end of the table. And She is obviously too fat to climb the short flight of stairs to the living room level of our house, let alone to the guest bedroom upstairs.
Which wouldn't be so bad, except that She is -- and there is no nice way of expressing this -- too fat to adequately tend to her personal hygiene. I'm not sure which is worse, the odor of her body fluids or the strong perfume She uses in a futile attempt to cover up the body fluid odors. I can ill tolerate being in the same room with her. After 3 days, it was really getting to be a bit much.
She spent the entire three days in one of three positions: (A) sitting on the chair in the ground-level den; (B) sitting on a chair in the dining room; and (C) using the ground-level bathroom of our house. While in Position B, the dining room, she ate quite a bit of fattening foods, while leaving the salads untouched. The most strenuous exercise that She ever gets is driving her car around the block. And so, She just keeps getting fatter and fatter.
[My wife may be significantly overweight, but at least she does get some amount of physical exercise in. My wife is able to walk a mile to Shul, and then another mile + to visit friends, and then return. Along with everything else she eats, my wife eats salads and other healthy foods (though her intake of other fattening foods is not really under adequate control). But for all her excessive weight, my wife can walk up and down stairs, can tend quite well to her personal hygiene, and sometimes even swims a few laps in our swimming pool.].
Fatso is not just a physical condition; Fatso is a state of mind. There are few fat people who do not engage in off-the-record munching which they fail to take into account when assessing their calorie intake (but which nevertheless is input to the metabolism processes). I know which dresser drawer my wife uses for her secret stash of chocolate. I have chosen to ignore it; my other alternative would be to call foul on it, after which she would only find some alternative location for her chocolate stash.
In any event, I note that Judge Holwell has just decided the case of New York State Restaurant Assn. v. New York City Board of Health, 2007 U.S. Dist. LEXIS 66935 (S.D.N.Y., 07 Civ. 5710, September 11, 2007) which essentially invalidated the New York City rule that required fast food restaurants to post calorie counts on their menus. Without going into the merits or specifics of the case, I will observe that the fatsos -- the very persons the various state menu calorie count rules were intended benefit -- pay no heed to calorie counts or other nutritional info anyway. Fatsos see food and eat it. Period! These calorie count rules and nutrition labeling rules cannot be expected to induce fatsos to lose weight.
Nutritional labeling only distracts from the real issues. The fatties don't pay the nutritional labeling any mind, and those of us who eat responsibly don't really need the nutritional labeling. The fatso lobby wants us all to accept the fatties and not discriminate against them and all that. But it's time for the fatsos to take responsibility for their bodies!
Love the fatso, but hate the fatness!
He was an athlete in his youth, and is still in reasonably good physical condition. She, on the other hand, makes my wife seem anorectic by comparison.
The sad truth is that She is too fat to walk more than about 25 feet without having to take a break. She is too fat to get up to light the candles for Rosh Hashanah or Shabbat. She is too fat to even get up to extend her reach a few inches so she can get the newspaper at the other end of the table. And She is obviously too fat to climb the short flight of stairs to the living room level of our house, let alone to the guest bedroom upstairs.
Which wouldn't be so bad, except that She is -- and there is no nice way of expressing this -- too fat to adequately tend to her personal hygiene. I'm not sure which is worse, the odor of her body fluids or the strong perfume She uses in a futile attempt to cover up the body fluid odors. I can ill tolerate being in the same room with her. After 3 days, it was really getting to be a bit much.
She spent the entire three days in one of three positions: (A) sitting on the chair in the ground-level den; (B) sitting on a chair in the dining room; and (C) using the ground-level bathroom of our house. While in Position B, the dining room, she ate quite a bit of fattening foods, while leaving the salads untouched. The most strenuous exercise that She ever gets is driving her car around the block. And so, She just keeps getting fatter and fatter.
[My wife may be significantly overweight, but at least she does get some amount of physical exercise in. My wife is able to walk a mile to Shul, and then another mile + to visit friends, and then return. Along with everything else she eats, my wife eats salads and other healthy foods (though her intake of other fattening foods is not really under adequate control). But for all her excessive weight, my wife can walk up and down stairs, can tend quite well to her personal hygiene, and sometimes even swims a few laps in our swimming pool.].
Fatso is not just a physical condition; Fatso is a state of mind. There are few fat people who do not engage in off-the-record munching which they fail to take into account when assessing their calorie intake (but which nevertheless is input to the metabolism processes). I know which dresser drawer my wife uses for her secret stash of chocolate. I have chosen to ignore it; my other alternative would be to call foul on it, after which she would only find some alternative location for her chocolate stash.
In any event, I note that Judge Holwell has just decided the case of New York State Restaurant Assn. v. New York City Board of Health, 2007 U.S. Dist. LEXIS 66935 (S.D.N.Y., 07 Civ. 5710, September 11, 2007) which essentially invalidated the New York City rule that required fast food restaurants to post calorie counts on their menus. Without going into the merits or specifics of the case, I will observe that the fatsos -- the very persons the various state menu calorie count rules were intended benefit -- pay no heed to calorie counts or other nutritional info anyway. Fatsos see food and eat it. Period! These calorie count rules and nutrition labeling rules cannot be expected to induce fatsos to lose weight.
Nutritional labeling only distracts from the real issues. The fatties don't pay the nutritional labeling any mind, and those of us who eat responsibly don't really need the nutritional labeling. The fatso lobby wants us all to accept the fatties and not discriminate against them and all that. But it's time for the fatsos to take responsibility for their bodies!
Love the fatso, but hate the fatness!
Labels: fatso, nutrition, responsible eating
posted by Expatriate Owl @ 5:40 AM
1 Comments:
At 17 September, 2007 22:25,
Expatriate Owl said…
I haven't the time or inclination to get into a pissing contest with Obadiah and his theories and viewpoints.
I myself am often aghast at the various superstitions of the Chassidim (and, occasionally, of the Litvishe Yeshivishe crowd).
Rosh Hashanah is the New Year. Period! But some people will develop and apply their superstitions to any and all situations.
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